Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Marriage <3 <3

Last Saturday we did a marriage seminar at Victory church. We met some new couples ( one that lives close to us!) and spent the day together, learning lots! Lots of things stuck with me. We learned SO much. And I encourage anyone who is married to do something like this a few times a year. I know that we will! Some of the things that really stuck with me, and hit home, I printed them out and scrapped them a little, and will post them on the wall like in our bathroom, or closets or something so that we can be reminded everyday. 

The 10 commandments of marriage....

1. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Luke 6:37- Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. Forgive others and you'll be forgiven.

2. Neglect the whole world RATHER than each other.
Mark 8:36- and how do you benefit if you gain the whole world, but lose your soul in the process?

3. Never go to sleep with an unsettled argument.
Eph. 4:26 - don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while your angry.

4. At least once a day, try to compliment your spouse.
Proverbs 15:4 - Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

5. Never meet with out an affectionate welcome.
Song of Solomon 1:2 - Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine.

6. " For richer or poorer"
Proverbs 15:17; 16:7-21 - a bowl of soup with someone you love is better than a steak with someone you hate.

7. f you have a choice between making you, or your spouse look good.... choose your spouse!
Proverbs 3':27 - Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them.

8. If they are breathing, you mate will eventually offend you... learn to FORGIVE.
Luke 17:3,4 - I'm warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a eay and each time turns again and asks for forgiveness.... forgive him.

9. Dont use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer.
John 3:17 - God did not send his son in to the world to condemn it, but to save it.

10. Let love be your guidepost.
1 Cor. 13:4,5 - Love is patient, and kind. Love is not Jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it's been wronged.

I like these. It's so hard to remember in this fast paced world that we are created and hard-wired for companionship.... Period.  It all boils down to love. Everyone in this world NEEDS to be loved. We have to remember that we didn't get married souly for ourself. We got married so that we could spend our entire life devoted to this other person, only to reap the rewards. It's not about " im going to be married to this person so that I can feel happy, or fulfilled( or the security of being with someone)" If that's your mentality, you might be doomed!

**Communication to a relationship is blood to the body.**

*Be guilty of loving!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in the evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perservers.  1 corinthians 13:4-6

<3 Kiss me again! Your love is sweeter than wine.  Song of Solomon 1:2 <3

We Learned that anger is the most talked about emotion in the bible. So even back in the day, people were ANGRY! We learned that anger stems from 3 sub-emotions.
1. Hurt ( past )
2. Frustration ( present )
3. Fear ( future)

After I thought about it, I thought of every time that I'd been angry, and sure enough it stemmed from one of these feelings. Anger can be a big problem in relationships. It's the most mis understood emotion as well. It's all about how you handle it, and control it.

Of course, communication is a big one. Communication is not only talking but listening as well. It is as vital to the marriage as blood is to the body. The best times to communicate are The first 4 minutes of your day, last 4 minutes before you leave, first 4 minutes after being home, and of course the last 4 minutes of your day. We think, that's only 16 minutes a day, that's easy.. NOT. By communicating it means, talking with out the tv on, from the other room, no computer, kids ( or talk of kids), no work/work talk. Just focused on each other, and LISTENING  to them. Tell me that's not hard work! We have a book of like 200 questions to ask your partner, and we're going to try to ask them at some of these key points of the day and answer them. They are questions that'd you'd never think to ask each other, but really get you open and talking.

So, to say the least we really took alot from the class. I'm so thankful it just kinda fell in our lap. We really enjoyed it, and can't wait for another oppertunity to do something like it again!


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